My Own Private Snow

Snow. Dust and flakes and a thick comforting carpet of white.

The pink sky is shedding countless magical balls. There is something so regal about the way they move. They seem like they’re having fun together. Their short lives have a mission, one united mission. Orchestrated so gracefully. I feel blessed threading through the white, looking down and up, watching the relaxed coconut flakes joyfully crashing into my coat.

It’s not as cold as it was just yesterday. I feel cozy walking in the snow storm. Go figure. For a minute, or an hour or two, it feels nice, before the guys come to take it all away so we don’t slip. It’s peaceful out, serenely quiet, not dangerously icy yet. I soak it all in and give myself a big relished mental smile.

It hasn't always been like this… God I remember my first winters outside of Israel, i.e. New York… Yes, Israel is not very experienced in the snow department. Back there… it’s more like…Southern California weather, I should say.

So how should I convey this…Every time it snowed during my first winters here, my mind automatically and uncontrollably traveled to World War II, and please allow me to be specific, the Holocaust.

Ok, maybe I am the only person in this world with this strange association, maybe not. But that’s how it was, Holocaust movies frantically running inside my mind; Nazis and trains, loud shouts in German..

I should probably say now that I lived near a train station back then (where the train is above ground, not under…), so my gloomy visions engulfed me every time it snowed and the train station was at sight. That meant- when leaving home and coming home. Doesn’t sound very pleasant, I know. Dreadful, more like it. I saw so many Holocaust movies growing up in Israel, especially being a descendant to a Holocaust surviving family. I don’t know why, but trains in the snow and Nazis screaming had become a chilling memory of those movies and documentations of the Holocaust. It felt personal, it became a gruesome sensation that I could not control. Those pictures felt more like personal memories.

At some point I was able to shake them off completely.

Snow flakes have become my joyful and cozy allies.

Thank you for reading a glimpse of my “snow-graphy”.

Don’t forget to play in the snow.